"Mom, it's so weird that when I'm a teenager I'm going to treat you badly. It's sad because we're friends - but it's going to happen eventually."
"Well, I will be all mean to you all the time and you will make me embarrassed and stuff - why will I?"
"Well, let's just get one thing straight ok?"
"Pop culture tells you from the beginning that you will become nasty and mean and horrible towards me when you're a teenager right?"
"Yeah. It's everywhere"
"Well I will tell you now, you have a choice. You can choose to treat people well, or badly. You can choose to treat me badly now while you're 9, or when you are a teen."
"When you are a teenager your body is full of hormones and changes, and just like mommy gets PMS, you will sometimes feel grumpy. And if you say 'Mum I'm sorry, I'm so grumpy today' then I will probably make you a Milo, give you a cuddle and then give you heaps of space if you need it - and maybe even a chocolate."
"That sounds better to me..."
"...and if you make the decision to treat me badly.... Well, you're going to have a bad time."
"Well, do you know how hard it is to go out and have fun with your mates when you're broke? Or grounded and in trouble? And how much it sucks using the bus? It will be way better if I drop you off places etc and if you need money, or clothes and shoes I can help etc... But not if you're treating me badly. No way. Relationships and friendships don't work that way."
"So just remember, watch your mouth and attitude when dealing with your Mum. Because I'm the absolute best friend you will EVER have, I've got your back for the rest of my life, and if things go wrong you will ALWAYS be able to come straight to me."
"I like that better than the fighting thing..."
"I've known friends that never treated their mums badly. They were friends - actual good friends - with their mums and were happier. So let's leave it at that"