This is my review and response to last night's 25th Shot Burlesque Show in Kings Cross, Sydney. Their website offered not much in the way of detailed explanation - my PR senses were tingling in dismay, my inner grammar nazi came out of its foul smelling cave to paw restlessly at my touch screen, searching for joy, and found none. We traveled over 2 hours by train and then by foot to watch this show. We shouldn't have. Really. Should have stayed home and watched GoT season 3.
Do be warned, the models, dancers and such last night looked NOTHING like the images on the website. It was like watching two baby elephant seals maul each other over a baby Santani. Horrific, but you can't look away.
This is what I wrote on the venue's Google+ page this morning, once I could wrap my mind around what happened last night. If not for the incredible friends that we made (Teapots at The World bar) afterwards, I would have absolutely nothing to show for all of our effort last night.
Here is my review sent to the establishment:
As a performer, I am going to be brutally honest.
The 25th Shot "burlesque" show at your club last night was appalling.
We are all still reeling from the speechlessness that we felt - after watching the "show".
First: "Arrive at 7:45pm" on ticket, no welcome, no signage informing your guests as to what was going to happen. Your cold thirsty patrons walked across the road to buy drinks from your competitor - instead of being served and welcomed at YOUR bar.
Second: 8pm show start time - show started at 8:45pm without much apology. Your patron's time has value and it is in your best interest to look after them.
Third: Drinks were watered down - had at least 3 strangers tell me this independently. "We've had between us at least a bottle of champers and we're not even buzzing" and the lady at the bar saying "I have no idea what is going on they just told me to serve at the bar"
Fourth: ZERO thought went into the presentation of the event. All performance was done on a stage where only 20% of your paying patrons could see the action… and thankfully so, the performance was so poor that I and my crowd of: two Frenchmen, One Scot, one Italian, one Tasmanian, two South Africans and one Aussie, were left in fits of laughter and shock. (Having the pole dancer come out and CLEAN the pole in front of your audience is NOT ok. This should have been done in the hours and hours (and 45 minutes) before 8pm.
Fifth: When the host says "two of my dancers have run away, so here is an audience member who says he can rap" - ????????? No! No no no!
IF you are going to advertise "theatre".
IF you are going to carry on doing this.
PLEASE hire someone who is an events organiser, or preferably a dancer, CUT OUT the cameras - they only highlighted the ridiculousness of the event.
For the love of all things Burlesque.
Watch some youtube clips of actual burlesque shows.
Learn how to do it and then do it well.
Sydney needs more TOP quality shows - not what-ever-that-was last night.
Sixth: Outside when we were waiting to enter the auditorium, it was cold. Patrons were standing around in the cold while the gas heaters stood cold all around. As we all lined up, and as the last of us went into the auditorium, someone started walking around switching on the heaters… why were your guests not kept warm?
As a performer for over 30 years I was shocked. My husband who is doing his phd in Arts Management and who has run a theatre was shocked. This was way below par and should have been cancelled.
Did you ever attend a show that was not at ALL what you imagined it would be? let me know in the comments.
Disclaimer: I am NOT attacking the venue. The event co-ordinator and company 25th Shot did not prepare adequately for this and false advertising was most definitely at work.